This purple hydrangea was recently planted by my neighbor in our front yard. She does not know purple is my color or hydrangea is my flower. My mother also gave me a get well card at the hospital. It is a purple card featuring white, pink, and purple hydrangea. Coincidence? I do not think so. I blog about my Gravatar flower here. This flower has come to be a powerful symbol for me, rich with beauty and wisdom.
As far as I am concerned, 2015 starts now. Today marks the first new moon after the Spring Equinox ( Autumn Equinox for our friends in the Southern Hemisphere). So it seems natural that today is New Year’s Day! I am all for starting fresh, how about you? I reviewed many of my 2015 posts and it seems like the past few months have been one ginormous blur. Most of it I would rather forget, and just move on.
I pulled a healing card today for this lunation from the Caroline Myss deck. This beautiful deck was gifted to me many moons ago by a dear friend. Here are both sides of the card:
I love the green mermaid imagery and the message that my body can heal via the Divine as the body is part of the Divine. As I am presently finished with the harsh medications, I am praying that my body can finish the job. My doctor is quite conservative and traditional but very caring and determined. He said something recently that was uncharacteristic of him, but quite provocative and wise: All medications are poisons, but the side effects of these poisons can be helpful ( such as killing off harmful bacteria). I was amazed at this disclosure and knew I wanted to share it here.
I later pulled a spread from the Goddess Tarot for the new moon, but it did not sing true. I will try later or use another deck. My abilities are a bit off while my body is recovering, or so it seems. Some things cannot be rushed, despite my inclination.
Update: Pulled 1 card today ( 4-20-15) and it rang true:
The seven of pentacles indicates promise of reward or harvest to come. Very Springy and hopeful. Today is another day and with every moment comes infinite possibilities.
I found this somewhat randomly, and it fits both literally and metaphorically:
I Had To Seek The Physician by Kabir
I had to seek the physician
because of the pain this world
I could not believe what happened when I got there –
I found my
Before I left, he said,
” Up for a little homework, yet?”
“Okay,” I replied.
” Well then, try thanking all the people
who have caused
They helped you
come to me.”
There are 4 people who I have to let go of with love. They are not bad people, they just do not possess the awareness I need to be in my life. Three of these people I chose consciously to be in my life, the other is kin. They all have brought some positive energy to my life in one form or another. I will let them be transformed so they can return to me another time, or not. It is really fine however it turns out. Holding on is too high a price for me to pay.
As Pluto moves back into my house of friends, some house- cleaning will prevail. Severe illness brings me to my knees and also makes the bare basics essential above all else. Anything or anyone that is not healing is part of the “problem.” And that includes my messed up thinking ( was gonna use another word!). It simply has to go.
While I have plenty to ponder while I recover, a few issues have become clear:
I am not looking for work for the foreseeable future. I have enough to live on and this obsessing has almost killed me.
I am also taking any plans off the table that are not essential or enjoyable. I will resume non-essential and non-enjoyable activities when I feel ready.
I am going to treat myself like a goddess and rebirth myself into being.
I am seeking NO-thing. I am complete as is and am going to give up the search for purpose, meaning, anything. I am whole and Divine. I have everything I will ever need and always have.
If I have not learned my lesson by now, these years on Earth were indeed futile. I do not need a bigger boulder to hit me upside the head.
I GET IT!
Thank You for your kindness and well wishes.
I feel your love and I am touched by your concern and care.
I am taking it one moment at a time.