Ahh, finally September. The idea of September comforts me. Maybe it has to do with the Earth Wind and Fire song of the same name, or because it signals the end of humid oppressive weather. Maybe I associate this month with hope. I am just so ready to move on. But to where, to what?
When I consider my evolution, the parfait comes to mind. The image above is a strawberry sundae, but you get the idea. It is about the different layers. Reading about parallel universes and varying levels of consciousness have influenced me greatly over the summer. While I draw no conclusions, I see how this metaphor can be effective. Take yesterday for example: I wake up from a positive loving dream. I feel open, confident, and cared for. In waking life, all sorts of shit hits the fan. Most of it stems from dealing with people who lack consciousness. Now I understand there are times when I am one of those people, but I am talking about people who you want to trust, but show you otherwise. You give them the benefit of the doubt and you stretch your patience. You see the beauty within them and hope for the best. When you reach your boundary, you express your feelings with truth and some diplomacy. You receive defensiveness, no accountability, and anger in return.
Have any of you experienced this?
With Venus about to complete her retrograde cycle, I have been feeling sadness deepen within me. This sadness has inspired me in the examining of past relationships. I keep coming back to the quote ” When people show you who they are, believe them.” I learned years ago not to accept one’s words over actions. We are much more than either words or actions, but they are indicators of our level of awareness at a point in time and space.
I am happy to report that I am not judging myself for giving people the benefit of the doubt. I lead with my intuition and I would do so again. When I reflect on past romances and consider excuses, manipulations, and blatant dishonesty, I feel less bitter.
People are flawed and we do the best we can. Like Matt Kahn says, it is not about just hanging out with people at your level or trying to convince others that you know the way. Have you ever called a liar a liar? Have you ever called a manipulator a manipulator? It accomplishes nothing. I refuse to see people who behave this way as reflections of me anymore. It is not that simple and never was.
When I notice how my big open heart invites some to take advantage, I fight the tendency to close down. I enjoy being full of love. My Dexter taught me well. In his absence I truly feel the sadness of being disconnected. I have so few people in my life that really know me and offer me unconditional love. I could adopt another cat and be done with it. I probably will adopt when I am ready.
But in this transitional period I travel from layer to layer. I allow the extreme sadness to stay with me until it dissipates. I enjoy my dream state and meditative states of being. Which layer is more real? I don’t know. At some levels of consciousness, all is well exactly as it is. I grasp the panoramic view where my soul is delighting in my incarnation. I continue to be grateful for the big and little things, the organic dates and fresh guacamole, the magical powers of probiotics, an unexpected breeze, a smile that appears on my face…
Wishing you a multilayered September full of revelations and love.